On Wednesday 19th March 2014 at 2.49am, the most incredible thing happened to me…
I became a Mum.
Photo ©Miranda Dickinson 2014
Bob and I have been so excited since discovering we were expecting our first child in the summer last year. We deliberately didn’t ask at our baby scans about whether we were having a boy or a girl – to us, it didn’t matter. As a result, during the whole labour experience I was just so excited to meet our baby and that carried both of us through. To hold her in our arms at last was the single most profound moment of our lives. A beautiful, timeless happening that changed both of us for ever.
I never thought I would be a Mum. Married in my early twenties into what became a very difficult and emotionally abusive existence for nearly eight years, I was divorced by the start of my thirties and assumed that it was unlikely I would meet anyone else and, therefore, hugely unlikely that I would ever have kids. When I met Bob in my mid-thirties, I was blessed beyond measure to find a man who showed me what real love looked like. But while we talked about having kids one day, neither of us were sure we could conceive naturally. So last July we had the biggest surprise ever when we learned that we were expecting!
I’m blown away by the heart-stopping, all-encompassing love I feel for Florence Wren. I have never experienced anything like it. The only way I can describe it is that every day I feel my heart has to stretch a bit more to fit all the new love in for Flo. At the same time, I’ve fallen deeper in love with Bob, seeing how he loves his little girl and me. I could never have anticipated this or the enormous impact it is having on how I view the world.
I’ve always believed in the power of possibility – a theme that I return to in my books time after time – but now I’m determined to pursue it for our little girl. I want her to see that life is full of possibilities, that dreams are worth pursuing, that life is as beautiful as you make it, every day. That no problem is insurmountable, no situation irredeemable, no heartbreak irreparable. That hope is the flame that can burn no matter what happens.
We have so many dreams for Flo, but the ones that will matter – and the ones that Bob and I will fight for the hardest – will be the dreams she dreams for herself. And to see her accomplish what she most wants in life will be the greatest privilege for us. This is the start of the most exciting adventure in our lives – and I can’t wait to see where it takes us!